Dearest young sir,
Please excuse my frank approach with this matter, however a few things need to be said. In order to vacate the premises you will have to follow a difficult and at times unpleasant path. I am fully aware of this fact and am deeply sympathetic in your reluctance to initiate departure. Please be advised however this is not a picnic in the park for me either. My sincerest hope is that you are agreeable to the terms agreed to. I assure you the best scenario is to exit willingly. I do not want to have to introduce you to the hellish substance that is Pitocin, however that is the threat that is looming. If you want this to be worse for you and I both you will continue to ignore your eviction.
Your always loving landlord,
Mommy.
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