Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Have You No Shame

If you were once a shy, modest, squeamish or naive woman...have a baby and you will never again describe yourself in these terms.

Upon discovering your condition, your body and personal life become, according to the general public just that. Strangers think nothing of jumping right through the otherwise respected norm of personal space to rub your protruding abdomen. If I had any intention of being self conscious it was overcome around week 30 when it can no longer be avoided. Those (usually in the grocery store...) procreation enthusiasts will sometimes ask AS they touch your belly if you mind...followed by a small moment of opportunity to cut them off before you hear about their birth stories...usually involving an abundance of drama and trauma.

It also amazes me how much unsolicited advice I receive from total strangers (am I just particularly approachable?!) including the awkward advice from a woman at least three times my age on the only tried and true method of labor induction...with eh hem ... great detail. On the same topic my very cute (SUPER HOT) chiropractor told me, when I asked if he had any tricks for labor, that unfortunately he didn't offer THOSE types of services at his clinic but imagined there was someone close to me who could. I had very innocently heard about a series of adjustments to the pelvis that could better align baby, better preparing him for delivery. Did he think I was soliciting him??? Yes. I will be going unadjusted for quite some time now...until the blood drains from my cheeks at the very least.

Acquaintances begin to ask about the state of my cervix as though they are talking about the weather and friends regale you with a repeat of their birth stories, in case you had forgotten any detail.

This was in preparation for my final midwife appointment.

Today I had a "stretch and sweep" (and am blogging about it...??? I clearly don't know where social appropriatness lies any longer...) it is a gross as it sounds...I am not sure what the clinical name is but this is what I was told we were doing, my midwife looked very excited about this prospect and so I didn't feel any need to be nervous, nor did I think too deeply about what it may entail becuase I got stuck on "we have really good results with this"... well we BETTER Have really good results with this becuase I DO NOT want to do it again on Monday!!! Then we talked about bowel movement freuquency...becuase why not?

All this and I haven't even reached the big event. If there was any "squimish" left at this point I think it is safe to say I am officially jadded.

1 comment:

Devry and Chelsey Hymas said...

haha....somehow there is still a small number of sweet innocent girls that make it to L&D with some sense of privacy and modesty left. I even had one girl ask me if there was any way that I could check her cervix without her having to get undressed. I constantly give my "leave your modesty at the door and pick it up on your way out" speech to those sweet innocent first time moms.

Well I hope your "stretch and sweep" is helping you contract...I've always heard it refered to as "stripping the membranes". I see TONS of women come in in labor who had their membranes stripped that day at their appointment. My SIL went into labor after having it done, so did a good friend of mine. Good Luck!

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