Ben Picked me flowers for the first time on our walk yesterday. He bend down and carefully chose a dandelion (the most beautiful of all the flowers...) he looked at it for a moment and then immediately thrust it forward to me "Mommy"! he beamed. I teared up like I ALWAYS do and he took that to mean pick five more...I put them in a cup where they remain today shriveled and brown stems of love.
As it is Mother's day as I write this I was feeling nostalgic enough to read a pregnancy journal I kept with Ben. One passage really conveyed my initial feelings at my introduction to Motherhood in the first few moments of awareness. I am glad I kept record of it.
" At 5:30 in the morning on Christmas eve I stumbled into the bathroom to take the test waiting on the counter. It only took a second before the second pink line formed, my hand started to shake and the world began to transform. It was in that moment that I became your mother. You need me more right now then you ever will again and I find fulfillment in this great purpose. I am happy to share whatever I have with you. You are as perfect now as you will ever be; full of potential and promise. I feel as though I am carrying a piece of heaven right here inside my body; our baby made of love and faith and hope."
From the first moments of Motherhood I connected with this title and it brought me a purpose higher than myself. I feel so blessed to have been entrusted with this divine role. Today, a little more then most I am especially grateful for the transformation it has caused in me and as alwats, the little flower toting boy who made it happen.
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