" Follow your heart, that's what I do" - Napoleon Dynamite
People have begun to say things like "you have to let him learn to be alone", "He needs to learn to be independent", "crying is good for the lungs" and my favorite "you'll spoil him"... these comments have resulted from the fact that Ben hates to be away from me or put down. The moment his little bum touches a surface that is not my arm he wails like he's lost a limb. I am growing biceps and patience each day. The thing is I refuse to let Ben cry, I can't do it... I don't even go to the bathroom all day because I know it will cause the little prince to cry (now he uses tears as well and they roll heartbreakingly down his cheeks!). My response to the comments I have heard is this: my tiny one month old baby is telling me in the only way he knows how " I am scared, confused and lonely- I need you to hold me because I feel safe with you". I am suppose to say in return "no little tiny brand new boy who is so new to this big scary world, I will not jump to your rescue at every whimper to teach you that you will always be able to find comfort in me? Never. So I will spoil him (although I am sure this is not the case...) if that is what is takes to show him his mother will never walk away when he needs her... I wish people would not say these things to new mothers who are trusting their instincts and who know their babies best. One day he will not want to hold my hand, he won't want to be seen at the mall with me and will want to do it all himself. He will push me away when he is ready and clearly he is telling me at one month old, he is not.