I heard a term today that fits me perfectly. A "Retro Feminist" from what I understand is a feminist trying to get back into her home. The feminists of the 60's did their job well...too well as it turns out and have driven us so far away from the home we aren't sure how to get back, and if/when we do what the heck do we do there! I struggled to find my way into the home when most of my peers and friends are on the fast track career lane regardless of what they want, it is just the place to be...how would you have 3 cars, a 4 bedroom house (for 2.3 children...?) a big screen TV, a plasma TV, a Florida vacation and a mini vay kay at march break, the "right clothes" and the newest I pod accessory on ONE salary...women have to work...otherwise we might have to *gulp* bake from scratch and buy a used mini van. Well I get some help from Betty Crocker and we leased our van but I get it, I do! I Also don't judge, I applaud a woman who loves her work in and out of her home, I know woman who are making it work...they have it all together and have a high level of life satisfaction, they are on maternity leave applauding their little darlings first steps while simultaneously counting down the days until they can get back to the rat race. Their motivation isn't a Chanel bag and business luncheons that make them feel like more then what they are at home, it is a choice they make for deeper reasons. I know many more woman who struggle greatly with this arrangement but don't know an alternative.
A friend just recently went back to work after a month of throwing up each morning in anticipation of this day. I was supposed to see her the weekend before her first Monday back to work. When she didn't show up the other women in our mom's group nodded in understanding..."she wasn't up to coming out, Monday is...you know". Well they all knew as many were on their second maternity leave...they had been through this before. I asked this friend earlier if couldn't they find a way..any way for her not to go back to work. I would think the fact that she had been physically ill for over a month over the mere idea of it was proof enough that career woman was not a title for her. "no" she said sadly, "I have to work. I could almost see the ghosts of our bra burning sisters behind her kicking her out the door. I understand feminism and in many respects am grateful for their endeavours BUT they were fighting for choice...I don't see many who feel as if that choice is really theirs. I want to be a homemaker and I want that to be okay.
*** I am now stepping off my soapbox...***