I win because I have best, cutest, smartest, sweetest, funniest, stongest and friendliest baby ever. On the flip side I win because I have the most difficult sleeper, cranky, grumpy, stubborn, temperamental and overly sensitive baby ever with the worst gas.
This is the Parent Paradox. We compete with who has the best AND worst babies.
Since someone pointed this out to me I have noticed this is the case in most conversations surrounding babies. If mother x were to talk about her baby's colick she may begin the unspoken competition by telling about the nightmare evening prior when her (best looking, smartest) baby screamed for 2 hours while they tried swaddling, pacifiers, blow driers, gripe water and car rides to no avail. " I am wiped!" she will declare, passing the torch onto mother y. This mother will say "Oh I know exactly how you feel because when my (best looking, smartest AND funniest ) baby y was that age he would scream for 4 hours every night for 5 months. We would walk, jiggle, sway, and cuddle him. We would drive to Timbuktu and back before he would stop crying. What finally worked for us was putting him on Soy. Mother y- three points.
1 for having the worse situation-
1 for trying more methods of solving it (thus proving herself more of a selfless marter).
1- for solving the problem.
Mother x- 0.
The conversation will turn to smiling as Mother x says the only thing that got her through the night was the fact that he flashed his first big one at her the next morning as she changed him. Mother y will look at her sympathetically "isn't your (homely and skinny) baby almost 8 weeks? I am surprised that he only just smiled now. My (perfect and extraordinary) baby grinned at me 3 minutes after his birth.
Mother y- 4 points, Mother x...0.
This is the game. Best baby ever...worst baby ever...