Tuesday, August 7, 2007

still no baby...

Well my due date prediction/hope of august 5th has come and gone with not even a hint of impending labour...but I should have learned that I know nothing after my first experience trusting my intuition (it ended with sheepishly packing up a large box of baby girl clothes...). The next date is the Dr. due date...the 10th or Friday. I just booked an appointment with a fence company to do an estimate on the 9th so now that I have something planned, hopefully that will do it... I really hope we don't go to the 15th!!!!( the ultra sound's due date) As it is every minute feels like a week! I keep trying to tell him he is wasting the summer in there, yet he remains uncooperative.

I was a couple centimeters dilated at my Dr. apt last Tuesday and got my hopes up that labour would start soon... obviously it did not. People are telling me to gratefully accept every free centameter of dilation, but I thought it was more of a tease then anything else! I have another apt. today (one I hoped I wouldn't make it to...) Hopefully I will have more progress but I am not hoping for anything anymore, it's too hard to go a whole week on the edge of my seat. Poor J gets his hopes up too and then nothing... I catch him staring at me as though trying to will me into labour...poor guy just wants to meet his son and I can't make that happen! That is a whole other part of this last final stretch-the GUILT. people have started to call and I am constantly the bearer of bad news... and if I don't pick up they leave a message that says "ohhhhh you must be off having a baby, congratulations!!!! call as soon as you get home!" ...no actually I just went to the bathroom... now I have to call them back and apologize for in fact not having this baby before they start sending off mass emails about said new baby... I feel bad for not having good news to share, but it's not my fault...its the baby's fault (according to Baby Center no one knows for sure what starts labour except that it is the baby who releases some sort of hormone....so its allll up to them) But we can't very well blame the baby can we!

I will keep my fingers crossed for the apt today- my dream is that I will go in and the Dr. will say "why miss Jennifer (he always calls me "miss Jennifer...despite the 10$ replacement wedding ring I wear that Jon got me from Walmart when my finger swelled too badly to wear my real one...) you are in labour. I hope to be at least 7 cm dilated and unbeknown to everyone be one of those greatly blessed woman who were born with no nerve endings below the belly button and can't feel labour pains! Ahhh I can always dream...

The baby is going to think his name is Comeonben since that is all we ever say to him these days... COME ON BEN!

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