Thus Begins our Parental Screw Ups...

Our Baby?! ...

We had to go to a "discharge class" at the hopsital before they would release us. It was good for nothing as I sat there struggling to keep my eyes open and we went home more confussed then ever. They do however now send you home with a "handbook" for your little squacker. We sat there with three other couples and their new babies and we each oohed and awed over each others's offspring while feeling secretly delighted in having the cutest, smartest, best baby there. I did notice however the adorable little outfits worn by the other babies... little matching hats and booties and plush new blankets... Uh apperently we lost the memo that informed us we were aloud to put clothes on the baby in our room. I suppose I was waiting to be told he was mine and I could do what I wanted with him. I tried to hide his skin peeking out from behind the hospital issued blanket we was wrapped in. We had yet to put clothes on him!!! I was horrified when Jon picked him up and his blanket slipped down to reveal his nakedness. I noticed the other parents look at me in cruel judgement while they rocked their little gap models. I have taken great time and energy in dressing him in a different outfit at least three times a day now just to overcompinsate (that and he has leaky diapers....).

The Fever...

I picked Ben up and was horrified to feel his little body absolutly burning. I vaguelly recalled in one of my many books that a newborn fever is very serious. Fortunatly we had bought a digital thermometer the other day. Jon took off his blanket, little hat, sleeper and socks (worn underneath his sleeper left over from an earlier outfit..) and we tried to convert Celcuis into farenhiet (we new 100.4 was a fever...no idea about what is was in celcius which is what our reading was in!) I ran up to the computer to check and as I came downstairs noticed the pile of clothes on the floor... it was 40 degrees outside..... hmmmmm??!!! He was fine. We don't overdress him now. Lesson learned.

I love you forever

I love you forever

I'll like you for always

as long as I'm living my baby you'll be...

Every time I look at Ben I am amazed at just how tiny and perfect he is. I stared at his baby toe nail for a good twenty minutes today just in awe. I think these are the days that imprint themselves in a mothers mind and heart that sort of lock the baby in a time warp. He will one day walk away from me, tell me he can do it himself, go to school, play baseball. He may die his hair, get acne and awful piercings. He may have size 12 feet like his father but I know whenever I see those feet I will only ever see that perfect half moon shaped toe nail on his five day old foot that I love so much. I will only ever see my baby.

Dear God...

As of 6:22 pm August 22 2007 I have found myself in a continual state of prayer. A mix of pleading, bartering and conversing with God...

Dear God...

Please let him be okay... let him be healthy... please make him happy. Help me be the kind of mother he deserves... help me love him a little less! Dear God please make him stop crying... God...why isn't he crying?!... Let him be happy God, help him have big dreams and hopes- please make them come true. Dear God let him know that I would never let anything happen to him... please don't you let anything happen to him! Make him know no one could love him like I do, ever. Help me remember how to stop fussing over him... Is he warm enough God? Can you make the sun come out for him? Dear God help my ankles to come back someday... Help Ben know how lucky he is to have Jon as his dad.... What did I do God, to deserve them? God?? Please make the world a little better for him, he is too small, too perfect...Dear God help me trust that he will be breathing when I wake up- dear God let him sleep... help me sleep! Dear God how did you get his tiny little nails just right? I'm sorry God that people say there are no such thing as modern miracles... I am staring at one! Help him Lauph and love. Help his heart to never break. Help me to care again one day about laundry and dishes and clean bathrooms, but not today. Forgive me for not having the patience to understand and to trust that he was coming

Dear God.... Thank you.

Benjamin!

Those who don't believe perfection exists have never held their newborn child...

Here is the short version...





Induced August 22 2007


5.5hr labour... drug free (more about that later!)


Benjamin Alexander, Born 6:21pm


9Ibs 11 oz...!





.... still in awe and so worth the wait!

Maybe it's just a large tumor?

I am beginning now (7 days past due) to wonder if there is actually a baby or has this really been some cruel joke?! When someone has not slept for more then 1.5 hours at a time in about three weeks their sense of logic and judgement quickly start deteriorating. This is why I am really starting to question if he is ever coming... seriously!!! The Dr. promises by next weekend we will be parents one way or another....but I'm not holding my breath about it- at this point I'm not believing it till I see it!

On the Bright Side?

August 13th... 3 days late!

Okay so what are the positive parts of still being as big as a house and going on ten months pregnant?

- We are waiting for a healthy little boy

- I can still eat whatever I want

- I don't have to read diet articles yet

- people let me go in front of them in line

-people give me their grocery carts

- J won't say no to me

-I still get a foot massage every night

- I am getting used to getting four hours of sleep at night

-better late then early...

-he will likely be chubby when he is born everyone loves a chubby baby...those little roles will be worth waiting for..

-he is very portable

-he is currently pretty low maintenance

-no diapers...enough said!

Late for his own birthday!

Well I can now safetly assume that Ben will NOT be born on the tenth seeing as it's 8:34 pm as I write this (please feel free to prove me wrong B!).

I thought perhaps he wasn't coming because there was not a cake.. I wouldn't go to a birthday without cake either. I made cupcakes so there would be no excuse... he must be nothing like either of his parents- there is nothing that J and I wouldn't do for a cupcake!!!

Now as first time parents please know that we aren't THAAAAAT nieve, we do know that newborn babies can't have cupcakes for at least three weeks... I was going to freeze him one!

House Pictures

Okay here are the house pictures... We are thrilled to be so settled in!

Enjoy:)

perspective...

Please note today being the Dr. Due date... I have a feeling it is going to come and go...

While talkng to a neighbour last night she mentioned that I would, as of tommorow have a one day old baby inside me if he's not born today... thanks for that perspective- the ONE I had not already thought of on my own!

On a more positive side I noticed my yogert today expires on the 25th, I will be induced on the 22nd if B fails to arrive on his own so that means that by the time the yogert expires we will have a baby... Now that is something to keep me going!

still no baby...

Well my due date prediction/hope of august 5th has come and gone with not even a hint of impending labour...but I should have learned that I know nothing after my first experience trusting my intuition (it ended with sheepishly packing up a large box of baby girl clothes...). The next date is the Dr. due date...the 10th or Friday. I just booked an appointment with a fence company to do an estimate on the 9th so now that I have something planned, hopefully that will do it... I really hope we don't go to the 15th!!!!( the ultra sound's due date) As it is every minute feels like a week! I keep trying to tell him he is wasting the summer in there, yet he remains uncooperative.

I was a couple centimeters dilated at my Dr. apt last Tuesday and got my hopes up that labour would start soon... obviously it did not. People are telling me to gratefully accept every free centameter of dilation, but I thought it was more of a tease then anything else! I have another apt. today (one I hoped I wouldn't make it to...) Hopefully I will have more progress but I am not hoping for anything anymore, it's too hard to go a whole week on the edge of my seat. Poor J gets his hopes up too and then nothing... I catch him staring at me as though trying to will me into labour...poor guy just wants to meet his son and I can't make that happen! That is a whole other part of this last final stretch-the GUILT. people have started to call and I am constantly the bearer of bad news... and if I don't pick up they leave a message that says "ohhhhh you must be off having a baby, congratulations!!!! call as soon as you get home!" ...no actually I just went to the bathroom... now I have to call them back and apologize for in fact not having this baby before they start sending off mass emails about said new baby... I feel bad for not having good news to share, but it's not my fault...its the baby's fault (according to Baby Center no one knows for sure what starts labour except that it is the baby who releases some sort of hormone....so its allll up to them) But we can't very well blame the baby can we!

I will keep my fingers crossed for the apt today- my dream is that I will go in and the Dr. will say "why miss Jennifer (he always calls me "miss Jennifer...despite the 10$ replacement wedding ring I wear that Jon got me from Walmart when my finger swelled too badly to wear my real one...) you are in labour. I hope to be at least 7 cm dilated and unbeknown to everyone be one of those greatly blessed woman who were born with no nerve endings below the belly button and can't feel labour pains! Ahhh I can always dream...

The baby is going to think his name is Comeonben since that is all we ever say to him these days... COME ON BEN!

Daycare room

In my efforts to speed along little B's arrival I have been working my butt off (okay mostly J's butt!) including but not limited to painting a large room the most obscene colours of blue and green. Of course I can get away with using them because the colour palate and decorating sense of the under four crowd tends to lean a little to the tacky/fun side! Which makes this playroom officially the most fun room in the house! Fortunately it's on its own floor and you do have an escape to a more neutral colour scheme if you go upstairs... I think the kids will enjoy it..well they better because J has so kindly informed me that it will not be painted again for at least 5 years (painting is not his favorite... but notice what perfect waves he made!).

54 X 64

My waist currently measures 54 inches around (yes you read that correctly...go get a measuring tape to be accurately amazed at exactly how big that is!) and 64 inches tall... this means that in ten more inches I will be as big around as I am tall! I don't think at that point I will be able to walk any longer as I'm sure I would just keep on falling over. I am officially sending this lovable little fetus an eviction notice come Monday I found this one that seems appropriate...


Eviction Notice
The current tenant has 15 days to gather his belongings and vacate the premises. After which he will be physically removed from the property. He is being evicted due to breach of contract and destruction of property.
Expansions only to the front of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but expansions to the back of the house were also made. Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure.
Due to property damage caused by these unapproved renovations, there are now leaks in both the upper and lower levels of the home.
Any further problems will result in immediate and forceful removal
- Your (54 inch round) Landlord aka- mommy