I forgot it was valentines day... because for three and a half weeks it has been on very long day. Blissful, surreal and long.
New babies do that.
I wanted to tell you that regardless of the date on the calender I love you. The 14th of February helps us remember if things like sleepless nights or long days at work made us forget to say it. Especially if we have been a little cranky, a little overwhelmed and a little bit taken for granted.
So today, on this day to remember, I am thinking of all the things big and little about you that I adore. All those little bits and quirks that make you, you. I wouldn't change any of them.
I love that you are such a great dad and how hard you are trying to balance everything on your very large plate right now, I love how you are always trying to put us first and how you get more handsome every year. I love that you scrape my car and fold laundry and bake valentines day cupcakes in between NASCAR laps. I love that you kiss me first when you come home and how I feel when I can hear your loud car coming down the street in the evening. I love how you eat everything I make without complaint even if you have to pound the table while pretending to grin to get it down. I love your sense of charity and service, your commitment to your family, church and friends. I love how much our boys adore you and I love that one day they will grow into men like you.
Thank you for everything you are,
and everything you do,
this day and everyday,
I love you.
(evidently I am not sleep deprived enough to lose my ability to rhyme...In another life I may have wrote greeting cards, I know.)
Oh my Ben.
"I love you" doesn't even almost come close. You make me laugh and yell and pull my hair out and kiss you all in the same minute. Your fiest is so uniquely yours and I love you for it. Your big spirit drives the energy of our family and you have a knack for keeping every day fresh.
I love those dimples, that mop of hair, those fat little feet, that infectious laugh, that roar of rage when the world is out of your control. I love that determination, natural empathy and sense of humor in everything around you. I love how much you love your family and how loyal you are to your Mommy. I love that you "needa kiss" when you bump anything, and how you will bump yourself just to get a kiss (although I give them out for free you know...) I love that you are caught right now between your toddlerhood and boyhood and how you bounce back and forth every other moment from "mommy's boy" to "big boy".
I love watching you grow and change and become more of "Ben".
I love every inch of you and every moment of being your Mother.
Happy Valentines day my darling,
My little sweetheart.
25 days ago you were a wish and a flutter. I don't really remember anything before that, before you.
What a special boy you are. To have so seamlessly entered our family and our hearts in a way that makes us forget you haven't been here forever.
I love the weight of your little body on my chest as you sleep, the dimples on your pudgy hands and the hours you spend happy to just patiently, contentedly and curiously take in the world around you. I love when something catches your interest and you purse your lips in awe. I love that you only see beauty and through your eyes we catch it. I love that you have a maturity and wisdom in those big dark blue eyes of yours that hold a unique personality waiting to unfold. I can't wait to see who Jacob is. I love that your lips curl up in happiness as you sleep in my arms and how you don't relax until you breath in a familiar scent. I love how patient you are with me and how we can tell just how sweet you are already.
I love everything you, forever and ever, always and more.