When I wrote "Au Natural" to explain my birth choice I worded and reworded as to not offend anyone who didn't choose or was able to have a natural delivery. I hoped it came across as intended; that the process and importance of birth can be overlooked, covered up, disregarded or excused away with the multitude of drugs available and sometimes we don't give ourselves the chance to see what we are capable of. I simply wanted to convey that it is an empowering experience that we can do without the aid of pharmaceuticals since it seems as though it is just assumed we can't handle it without. Although I know some would say why would you want to...and in short that is what I was trying to answer.
My longest labor was 5 hours and 22 minutes long...followed by 3 hours. I am sure many people would read what I wrote, thinking back to their 30 hour ordeals and what they went through to birth their babies and thought...ya 3 hours... I could have done that standing on one foot; try 25 hours more of that and tell me the anathethiologist isn't your new best friend.
I get it...in the fact that I don't really. I was blessed with an experience I was able to handle...just barely and was grateful for it. I did not do it any better than anyone else.
Why the new thoughts? I just read my cousin Nick's wife Keri's birth story. (http://www.mybigpictureblog.com/)I didn't do the math but it seemed to last for days...her hoped for drug free delivery ended with every drug available and finally in a c-section. Whew.
A Queen she is. A queen.
And empowering it must have been, what she did and would have gone through for her child. Take that and run with it I say.
I suppose then I realize now that you can find empowerment in any birth experience if you look for it, the perseverance, endurance, willingness and sacrifice that I experienced is not unique to me, that is what makes a Mother. You can't escape that no matter what drug you try- it is necessary in every experience. Getting a big needle in your spine (of which I am more terrified of than anything else by the way) or enduring major surgery are experiences not to be taken lightly in their own right.
I would encourage than instead of aiming for the perfect natural birth...whatever that is, to find the metaphor and empowerment that is unique to each experience and cherish that.
Did that come across as intended? Probably not.
4 comments:
Another great post, Jenn! Every birth story is different.
Every. Single. One.
I think the minute labour begins,that is when you become a mom...because that is when you do what is best for your baby,despite what you, personally, wanted for the birth. At least that's my experience. :)
Great Post Jenn! I have so much admiration for your determination and endurance! I can tell you from not only my own experience, but from being the nurse for hundreds of women. Every labor and delivery is different. There are so many factors involved. I personally had not a bit of desire to have a "natural" birth. Could I have done it? Yes. If I had to I could have, but I never wanted to. The point when I was the most grateful for my epidural was not during labor or delivery...it was during the hour after he was born that I was being stitched back together, and I didn't feel a thing! I loved every second of my labor and delivery experience. I wouldn't change it at all. I think the most important thing is that every woman has quidelines in mind for what they want, and then take it as it comes, knowing that everything could change in a matter of seconds.
Chels,
You make me laugh...not a bit of desire for a natural birth! lol
and that is fine too!
I found empowerment through having one and you found it through not lol...
I have been lucky to not need stiches or freezing at all, but I can imagine that would be the part that would really suck!
being in the total minority of people who has never felt the faintest desire to squeeze a baby out, i don't think your post came across wrong at all. that said, if i wasn't a slice and dice sunroof mom i'd have gone totally the opposite and had a waterbirth with (hopefully) no drug pain relief.
i think you put it really well :)
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