The Brink

Much of life is about pushing one to the brink of what they can feasibly handle. At least that has been my experience. Perhaps it is to show us how Strong we can be, you know...when you don't have a choice but to endure it since you would not have put yourself there otherwise...

Towards the end of high school (five years back in those days...*gasp* I know!) I realised that none of the drama mattered, it wasn't representative of the real world and these in fact were NOT the best years of my life. When I couldn't bear riding out these precious days of my youth in this large brick building that was holding the progression of life stagnant, for one more day, I welcomed graduation and life.

When Jon and I were dating I couldn't live with the uncertainty of not knowing for sure I had him forever for one more day and then, just like that he asked me to marry him.

And Then there are children...from the very beginning they drive you to the brink.

When I couldn't bare to face another day as a childless woman, I saw that line on a stick that gave it all purpose.

When I couldn't bare to have this same baby pushing on my ribcage and punching my bladder for one more day, I held him in my arms.

When I couldn't go another night on three hours of sleep, he gave me nine.

When I think I am going to scream and rip my hair out of my scalp, he makes me laugh so hard my thoughts turn to bladder control instead.

And then there is February. Each year I find myself in the brink of February. When I cannot stand to see one more snowflake...one more winter boot...one more glove...wet puddle on the floor...when my hands are as dry and chapped as they can be and I crave the sunshine on my face spring will come.

Today is that day.

I cannot stand one more minute of winter...I want the sun, birds, parks, evening walks, flip flops, sand boxes, BBQ in the air, patio tables, housefly's and garden weeds so desperately I had to shut the curtains on today.

I am at the brink.

Spring must be on its way!