I was at a book club night last week where our conversations barely touched on the book. As a group of similarly aged woman, full time Mothers and home makers we talked about what we always talk about...our homes and our children.
One friend who was there relayed to me a conversation her sister in law, expecting her first child had with her husband after she left that evening.
"I like to talk." she said.
"But these women...they NEEDED to talk. there were five different conversations happening at once, it was like they just HAD to get it out".
I thought about this and the truth of it. So rarely are there times in my week when I feel heard or understood. Husbands try but until you have lived one day in the shoes of a full time mother and homemaker; (the hardest and best job in the world I'll have you know...)you don't really understand all that it entails and the feelings it invokes in even the most patient of woman who sweat perspective. You need a lot of a lot to get through it with grace.
It is always a welcome occasion then when I am with people who I relate to. Who understand when I speak and the mere fact that I have to speak. With words consisting of more than two syllables and don't bat an eye when I use the word "poopy" out of habit without realising it. It is a sisterhood that understands the most draining of responsibilities is also simultaneously the most full filling and the degree of exhaustion experienced in the early days are unrelatable to those who haven't experienced it.
It also goes unsaid that these occasions have food. Sugary, sweet, chocolaty food. Woman who spend day after day emptying their well of all they have to give for the good of their loved ones can make it all up in with just one evening of chocolate fondue and women who understand their worth- with or without the discussion of a book half the club members didn't read. We are a robust people. The energy when we get together is high, thick and capable. We are very aware of the hard working nature of one another and don't for a moment need to put up the defensive mask so often one of this profession needs to wear. We know we are doing important work, this is our staff meeting of sorts.
The mother- to- be- thought we were all talking at once, but she will see, once practiced that a true multitasker can keep track of all five conversations at the same time and even pause to relish in the delightful and perfect combination of a shortbread cookie dipped in warm chocolate.
I did enter the book club with the quiet desperation of a homemaker with cabin fever, a stir crazy two year old and under eye bags compliments of a newborn. I left not only with the rush of sugar in my body but also the rush of acceptance and understanding that all woman at home crave and can only be filled by one another.
until next month...