Sunday, March 15, 2009
We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
I have been making more of an effort to really be WITH Ben when I am. After a conversation with a friend about taking for granted this time and really acknowledging how important these formative years are for our toddlers I questioned my thoughts at times. Often they are wondering. I make it priority to be with Ben but sometimes parts of me are elsewhere. I think of all the things I will do during nap time, what needs to be done now, what we will do when Jon gets home, plans for the weekend, phone calls I want to make, what I would eat if calories didn't exist, what I would spent the first million of a big lottery win on... poor Ben meanwhile is listening to me read the book (for the eighth time) half heartily while I daydream of other things in other places.
Friday marked my first "Whole Mom" experience. I committed to being in the moment with him 100% of the time. It also marked a fantastic weekend. I feel like I made conscious memories of small moments that both he and I savored and enjoyed in. He was not calling me back to the moment with a whine, or a frustrated cry for attention as he has been known to do. I didn't put him in the stroller for our walk today. Instead he held my hand beside me and we talked about everything we saw. I didn't pacify him with a bottle in the backseat as we drove in the van, I sang to him every song I know and then some I made up. I didn't read a magazine on the toilet seat as he played in the bath tonight, rather I sat on the edge of the bathtub and joined.
I feel like I was a great mom this weekend.