The Other Woman...a Jelous Rant

I have as of late been forced to share my bed, date night and conversations with my husband and his other woman. She goes by the last name "phone", first name "I" Jon activly persued Iphone. It began the morning she was released and Jon darted out of bed at 5:45 am and ran out the door. If I didn't call him on his now worthless then beloved blackberry to know where he went I only needed to wait a few hours to catch him on the news...and then the radio. He was lining up to get his new love...Ms. Phone.

10 hours later Jon was the proud new owner of one of the first Iphones(I would like to add that it took less time then this for me to give birth!). He has since then spent countless hours bonding with her. He buys her whatever new accessory she could ever want and never lets her battery get too low. He downloads lots of useless applications that turn her into semi entertaining things like a zipo lighter flame (to use at a concert I may or may not be invited to accompany them to), a flashlight, and downloaded video console (this works at pacifying Ben in the car so she gets half a point for that...). When I ask Jon to stop playing with his toy at the dinner table-driving-church etc he shoots me a look and reminds me with less patience then before SHE came along that it is not an "TOY" but a vital business tool (that he is using to watch the top utube videos on). When I try to show interest in her Jon will hover over me like a nervous new parent while I fiddle with the gps application or the camera phone. After I do anything on it Jon quickly needs her back so he can try to either undo what I just did or try to do it better. It must be a loyalty thing...
Well I am happy that Jon is happy but not happy enough to let him get a blueray console...another new technology that will leave me another notch behind! If I could just figure out how to beam light through my fingertips, take a picture with my nose and have maps in my head then maybe I could even out the competition. Until then Ms. Phone until you develop applications for laundry services, meal preparation and toilet cleansing among other things I remain in the game!