To My Valentine

Dear Jon...
Do you remember the poem that I wrote you when we were both snowed in at our respective houses and couldn't get to one another before we were married? It was all the things I love about...You! In the last three years, I have added more to the love pot!

I love your hair, your eyes, your lips. I love your patience, your bum in jeans and one day (only one!)of face scruff. I love the way you know just when I need you to hold my hand and how you scrape and start my car in the morning. I love that you try to understand me even though I know I often make you nuts. I love your biggness and your perfect smile. I love that you pray with me. I love that we make gorgeous babies. I love that you love Nascar even though I hate it. I love that even though you don't get Europe, you will take me there one day. I love that you eat what I make you without complaint, and for that you will never have to eat salmon again. I love your work ethic, you dedication and your intelligence. I love that Ben has you for a father. I love listening to you play with him and watching his eyes light up when you come through the door. I love that I trust you completely and I fit into your hugs perfectly. I love that we have never fought about anything ever, never raised our voices in anger and never called one another a name we couldn't take back. I love that when you look at me I feel beautiful and we think the same things are funny. I love that you accept how different we are and find that interesting. I love that you wrote me private vows on our wedding night and how you've kept every single one of them. I love that you let me do it my way and always put your family before yourself. I love that you will be embarrassed that I wrote this on my blog. I love...you!

xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxo

Smooshie

Sometimes I call Ben Smooshie, because when I look at him I just want to smoosh him and eat him...although that wouldn't be very appropriate, so I just nibble on his toes occasionally.

I know I haven't been posting pictures recently because I have been on a sort of camera strike. Over Christmas Jon and I went out and did something totally impulsive and unlike ourselves. We bought a $1300 camera. My dream is to one day own a beautiful camera such as the one I had in my hands and proudly carried out the door of future shop ( I also dream to live in Europe, publish a novel and make enough money to wear new socks everyday). Jon and I were so excited all the way home about that camera we bought with Money we didn't have until we got home and looked at each other. "We can't keep it can we?" We both shook our heads slowly as reality set in. "But we can hold it for a while right?" and we did. Getting out my little silver $150.00 number didn't have quite the same appeal after that but Ben is growing like a weed so I got over myself and snapped a few new pictures of Smooshie.

Yes I realize already that his hair is adorable...it came to be quite by accident. Usually I brush it down after his bath and smooth it to one side in "good little boy" fashion. One night I did not..and it poofed right up in the air. I realized I was repressing who he is...he is not a "good little boy" with flat hair...he is a rascal monkey with crazy hair...Be true to you Smooshie!(yes I add a little gel to get him through nap...)

The Sweetest Word

Yesturday Ben looked at me and said very clearly "Mumm-y" This was the first time I had heard this and it instantly brought me to tears. He grinned at his obvious achomplishment and has been using this new praise worthy word a lot since. My heart puffs up a bit each time I hear his sweet little voice carefully wrap his tongue around the new word that means so much. I am so happy I get to be his "Mumm-y".

A-Da

As I write this Ben and I are waiting for J to come come from work. I know he is coming home for five o clock which leaves the minutes leading up to very long. We have a great little routine we follow every day depending on the day of the week it is but the hour between four and five is left unfilled while I try to find things to do to pass the time. Sometimes we dance, usually we read, soon we will go on walks outside. Always we wait. The sound of the garage door opening and the car door slamming perks up both our ears and J opens the door to a squeel of A-Daaaaaaaaa! from Ben. I try to contain my excitment so he doesn't think I am a geek...but inside I am running arms outstretched as well. J sets down all his stuff where I don't like it but knows he is instantly forgiven because he was so missed and all is right again in the world when our little family is together again at the end of the day.

No I Didn't!

We were leaving preschool this morning and as always I loaded Ben into his carseat, put my bag beside him on the floor of the van and tossed my keys into the front seat so I would have two free hands to put the stroller away with. I closed Ben's door and walked around to the trunk to open it...locked. I went to the front door to get my keys to unlock it...locked. When I threw the keys on the front seat it must have pressed the lock button on the key fab, unbenownst to me of course! If you want to instantly feel your stomach turn over on itself...just lock your baby in the car. It was pretty sickening. I called over a friend to watch him (already crying) while I ran back in to call Jon and sheepishly admit what I had done (while all the other moms who would NEVER do such a thing overheard. Jon was there in under 30 minutes but it was a pretty long thirty minutes while Ben screamed his head off in the van mad at me for just staring at him through the glass (peek a boo got old after about 2 minutes!). Had this taken place a few months later I really would have caused a commotion in the parking lot when I had to smash in a back window. In the thirty minutes it took Jon to get there the van would have been too hot to leave Ben in. So this is the first and only time this year when I will say "Thank goodness it is winter!"

Poor Ben

A lot of posts have been entitled "poor Ben" I realize but here we go again...
Ben had a fever for four days when we took him to the doctor who suspected a lung infection. I took him for x rays and blood work then yesterday and picked the wrong time of day to go. I didn't think that early in the morning everyone would be there because they were fasting and on their way to work. We sat down with all the other people in the lab waiting room and waited our turn. Fortunately I brought his bottle and a snack. I gave Ben some grapes after he drank his bottle (he didn't have to fast..) and as he breathed in deeply to cough he inhaled a grape into his airway. Fortunately my first aid training kicked in and when he looked at me terrified and unable to make any noise I quickly put him over my arm and baby hymlicked him. The grape flew out and he proceeded to throw up all over the floor in front of 40 wide eyed onlookers. I was shaking of course from too much adrenaline too early in the morning. I am so glad I have taken CPR courses and kept them updated so I did know what to do immediately. Of course we were right above the urgent care center so if I had froze help wasn't far away.

On The Loose

12:00 noon is my crazy time of day- we get in from preschool most days at 11:30 and I am trying to get everything in the door and cranky, tired,hungry Ben in his highchair and fed so Jon knows to call me at 1:00 when Ben has his nap. On Monday Jon called at noon so I knew something must be wrong! He told me to lock the doors and not go out as soon as I picked up the phone...whoa! He explained that close to our house (just off our street actually) that morning when everyone in our neighbourhood was out shovelling snow, brushing off cars, going to work and walking to school someone was shot and killed. The killer was armed and still on the loose!
Let me explain that we bought our home where we did specifically because of the location. It is extremly safe and family oriented, one of the most popular in the city. We are within walking distance to everything and have lots of parks and schools close by. Having people murdered outside out front door is not what we signed up for so this was shocking to say the least. The swat team and police were patrolling the nieghbourhood and escorting children home from school after the lock down was over. Jon drives by this particular bus stop that she was found on every morning on his way to work and had he left any earlier would have seen her. When we listened to the news that night we found out that this woman was a volunteer at a vet office and manager at a local toy store, she was only 28 and was just married a year ago. Very tragic and the police have no suspects! We back onto conservation and woods and so Jon was right to be concerned as it is a good place to hide...Our doors are all deadbolted as I type... but I will certainly sleep better when he is caught!