Friday, September 24, 2010

Dialogue of a Day

Good morning Ben-HEY! don't hit Jakey!- give mommy a kiss. Thank you. Freezie's aren't a breakfast food, do you want toast or cereal with your juice? Cookies aren't for breakfast neither are cupcakes. Wait! Where are your shoes? You need shoes before you go outside. Because it's not safe to go out....because there is glass on the deck still....yes there is, just tiny pieces from when the table broke...because they will get in your foot...yes they will...YES they will... don't argue with Mommy, just get your shoes...BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!! (deep breath deep breath deep breath). Ben where are your pants? Yes I see your shoes but you need your pants on too. Because we don't wear diapers outside. Because we just don't. I don't you see anyone else in diapers? Well, yes that is because I haven't dressed Jakey yet, because I have been argu-talking to you for so long. "

"I need to go downstairs for a minute to get laundry, I will be right back.
BEN WHY IS THERE WATER COMING DOWN THE WALL?!!!!!!! .......BEEEEEEEEEEEEEN I HAVE ASKED YOU NOT TO TURN THE KITCHEN TAP ONTO THE COUNTER!!! WHEN YOU TURN ON THE WATER THIIIIIIIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!!!!! The floor is covered because you        turned the water on and moved the tap out of the sink...I don't KNOW why you did that! Don't move until I get towels for the floor because you will.... slip. It's okay, your okay, Mommy was trying to tell you not to get down, the floor is slippery in the water...BECAUSE you turned the water on it! (deep breath deep breath deep breath).

Ben don't eat the play dough- OR hit Jakey!- because it is not good for your tummy. I KNOW it smells good but that doesn't mean it tastes good. Well yes, most things that smell good taste good, you're right. No, I am still sure that the play dough won't taste good. Because I have tried play dough and it doesn't. No it didn't smell that good. okay have a tiny piece. I know, it doesn't taste good- If you try to hit your brother again you are sitting in your thinking spot! Do you want to play with Jake? Let's roll the ball to him- NO not his head! Just to his hands...there! See isn't that fun, he likes that-no don't lay on him either! Because you are a lot bigger than him. Because you were born first. Because God wanted it that way. Because he knew you would be such a good big brother. No he doesn't LIKE to be squashed. I know because I am the mom. I have to make a quick phonecall...just a minute okay. BEN! please don't play parade right now...just wait until I am off the phone! I know you are part of the band but just take a break for a second okay? Noooo Ben don't cry. I LOVE your music I just can't hear~!

Yes we can make muffins. Of course you can be my helper! Okay I am going to get the ingredients out and then you can pour them in okay? Okay we have the flour, salt, baking soda, banana, oats, aaaaand...let me get out some oil- No no no! can't put ALL the salt in, we just had to put a tiny bit in, otherwise it will taste bad. Let me see if we can just scoop it out-NOOOO not the bakins soda, honey we have to wait! Ah! okay now we have to dump it out and start over. No you don't need to be sad, we just need to start over...

I have to go put Jacob to bed, I will be back in five minutes. Sit at the table and eat your snack and I will be right back. No you can't come with us. Because I let you come last time and you were too loud for him to sleep. No I think- here, have a lolly pop and sit at the table to eat it, I will be RIGHT back.

BEN WHAT WAS THAT? Okay okay don't move- remember how slippery the water is on the floor! That was Mommy's pretty vase of birthday flowers from Grandma Ben! I ask you not to climb on the furniture because it isn't safe AND because things get broken. I know we are lucky the vase didn't get smashed, glass would have got in your feet, yes, like the table, exactly. Let's just pick them all up and get more water- BEN I ASKED YOU NOT TO MOVE- I am sorry I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, but mommy asked you not to move and now you have crushed our flowers. No I am not mad Ben, I am just sad because I liked those flowers a lot and I have asked you to- Ben, look at me! - DO NOT TRY TO HIT JACOB! Come over here to your thinking spot and think about a better choice please. Why are you laughing? There is nothing funny right now. Ben. think about what you need to do in the future so accidents like that don't happen and what you can do to get Jacobs attention rather that swat him. I know it makes him laugh but I don't think it is very kind and it is teaching him to hit. No hitting is not kind, no neither is kicking. No I don't want you to teach him to kick! Yes a ball. You can teach him to kick a ball, that would be fine.

No you can't watch a show. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. ONE show. That is all, and then we can walk down to the mailbox okay? Yes you can hold the key, and open the mail, yes yes yes.
Thank you for putting your shoes on so well for our walk Ben, that makes Mommy really happy when we can get out the door easily like that. Jacob doesn't need shoes because he doesn't walk. Because he hasn't learned yet. Because he is a baby. You know there was a time when children were suppose to be seen and not heard...I wonder what that was like? Huh? No no mommy is just kidding, it would have been boring.  Do you see the leaves falling? That is because it is fall now. Yes I am sure it is called that because that is what the leaves do ...that is a Caterpillar, I don't know where his mom is...

What do you want for lunch Ben? Yes you can help- grapes, banana and salmon toast coming up! You can peel the banana. Can Jake have some? He likes banana too. BEN don't take it out of his mouth. Because Mommy said he could have it, yes I know it was your banana but it was just a small piece, I thought you could share. Because you weren't going to eat the whole thing anyway- yes of course you were. Okay here, a new banana. Yes, all for you. Are you all done your lunch now Benny? You didn't eat your banana. You DO like them. You did ten minutes ago when you asked for one. (Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath).

Yes you can do a craft. For Daddy? I am sure he would love that. Do you want to use your paint or your markers? Both?! Okay! That is going to be a really fancy card. Stickers too?! okay! Here you go, I am just going to the bathroom for one minute I will be right back. BEEEEEEEN! You know paint ONLY goes on paper NOT hair! yes on your hands when we do hand I don't think we can do hair prints. I know you just wanted a hair print. What if we paint hair on your picture. Okay there.

We are having a bath now because you have paint in your hair. I know we usually have a bath after supper but you don't usually have paint in your hair. Yes you can put in the bubbles. I know Jacob doesn't have hair but I think he would like a bath anyway. Yes you CAN share the bath toys. Okay one,  you pick it out. Please don't splash the water out of the tub, because the floor will be slippery. I know you know, so don't do it again k? BEN! If you do it again you are getting out. You need to do what Mommy asks. Because my job is to keep you safe. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Okay you are getting out now. Yes you are- you are not listening to me that is why- Don't move! BEN! I said don't move---I know you are crying because you slipped AGAIN in water you put on the floor.

You need a rest now becuase it is napping time. It just is, I don't know. That is just the way the day goes. Yes if you stay in your bed you can pick from the treat jar. No, one. One or none. I love you.
Have a good sleep. Ohhhh that is nice to kiss Jakey too- DON"T HIT HIM! No he isn't laughing. Well he is laughing because he thinks you are playing but it could hurt him. Yes, one more hug. Okay, last one. Love you. See you when you get up.

Ben if you come out again you are not getting your treat jar. Yes you do need to lay down now. This is when mommy does her work. No there is no job for a little boy to help with. Your job is to nap right now. Yes TWO treats if you go now.

What do you want for a snack? Are you going to eat the banana? Are you SURE you like them again? Okay here. And raisins? Sure. You're done already? No, you didn't eat your banana- what do you mean you don't like them again!? Can you decide that BEFORE We peel them? No I can't put them in the fridge, they get yucky. I don't really want another banana. Okay yes I do, fine. Thank you.

Is that Daddy's car? Okay get your craft ready to show him. I know! He is going to love it!
I am happy Daddy is home too! REALLY happy!

Yes you can go to the park with Daddy and Jacob while I make dinner- SHOES Ben!

Ben, please sit at the table, because we don't eat dinner on the table. It is rude. Rude is when you don't think of other people. It is rude because we don't want bums where our food is. Daddy is laughing because Mommy is...funny.

Daddy is going to read your books with you and then you may watch ONE show. No, one. I am not talking anymore about it. You can cry, but that won't get you two.

What are we doing tomorrow? I think we are going to go to the market, and then? Um go for a walk? and I don't know yet Ben...okay okay...uuum then we will have a snack and make a fall collage...I will explain it to you tomorrow. No, tomorrow. And then....we will hang it on the fridge and then we will have lunch and then play outside and then have a nap and then...Daddy will come home.
I love you Ben. Goodnight.
Whew. Kids are both in Bed! What do I want to do? A movie? Uuuuuum, I think I am actually going to go to bed. I know it is 8:30, but I am


***This depiction was based on actual events. They may not have happened in order outlined or in the same 24 hours. However they did take place over... 48 hours.

1 comment:

The Blakeneys said...

Oh my. This post made me want to laugh. And cry. And yawn. Ohhhhhh, how I can relate!! This post should be given to high school sex-ed counselors -- "see what your days will be like, kids, if you don't practice abstinence??"

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