Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Ton of Bricks

I talked to someone quite special to me on Monday afternoon.
She was quietly diagnosed with a terminal illness on Thursday.
By Sunday she was gone.

In trying to absorb this shock I can't help but feel a perspective shift. In assimilating to the reality that frighteningly enough this happens outside of prime time television dramas; this can happen to happy people, normal people, healthy people. In a moment.

In dealing with this sadness I feel inspired-desperate to make the most of mine. What I have, here and now and left. We simply don't know how long that is. There is no control over this, but we have control over ourselves, over our choices. I choose to make every moment as my children's mother count. I choose to savor every minute of being the loved wife of my cherished husband. I choose to make it count, worthwhile and honorable. I choose to hope for more time.

In feeling this loss I am grasping for gratitude, for knowing her and for others in my life that may not be a week from now.

It is all so precious, fleeting and too often taken for granted.

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