Superwoman Syndrome

I was watching a show yesterday that was talking about coping with bringing home a newborn. The experts said that basically the only expectation is you survive the first three months. Whatever it is that gets you through it go for it. Expect to be up all hours of the night, pacing, rocking and generally losing your mind and make sure to sleep during the day... HUH?! No one told me this... I seem to have developed a raging case of the superwoman syndrome. For some reason I feel the need to wake up this morning (after 4 hours of sleep of course) and host a play date, while taking care of my three week old and the twelve month old I look after (for fun because one is not enough to prove my superwomanness...???!!!). Then I give them lunch, feed Ben, take Bayley out, put a load of laundry in, clean up the mess from the playdate while reading a recipe for the spaghetti sauce from scratch I plan to make when the boys nap (should I be napping then too? That would not be very super womanly of me!!) Then I get Ben up to play (I say play lightly it basically consists of my kissing his face over and over and singing dumb songs since I haven't had much one on one with him today). I check my email and now here I am blogging... hmm I still have 2 bathrooms to clean and dinner to make, followed by my nightly break down where I usually end up in tears because I am SO TIRED and SO HORMONAL and I just don't think I can do it.. .only to feel guilty for cracking under the pressure so I get up again the next day and try to prove myself all over again. Of course asking for help is absolutely out of the question for some reason... The expert on this show though clarified that I am not alone in burning myself out. This is the our cultural expectation, because I am a "stay at home mom" and not really WORKING I have to make up for that in so many ways and will likely never feel like I am good enough or doing enough. Just about every other culture in the world recognizes motherhood and homemaking as the most important role in a woman's life and the community rallies around to support her. In Asia the grandmother moves in with her daughter and assumes all household duties for six weeks while the daughter recuperates and does nothing but feed and bond with her new baby. I can only dream .... (to her credit my mother stayed with us for three days after Ben came home and called herself Jing Jing the Asian grandmother and was a huge help... but in our culture those three days were three days I had not lived up to my responsibilities so I had to refuse all help after that point (???) I think we need a cultural shift in attitude where this is concerned. No wonder there is such a high rate of post pardum depression and "baby blues" I don't know anyone who can function happily under these conditions...although we will put a smile on and assume the role of Holly Housewife. If only I was in Japan I would be curled up in bed with my little bundle of joy soaking up the wonder that is him. Unfortunately I live in North America and so I must slap on my cape and my smile and go make some cookies, wash the floor and vacuum the van...